I have reached the point, again, where I must get back in shape. I saw an Instagram post from one of the body positivity accounts I follow stating, “Losing weight is not my life purpose.”
Simply put, I agree. I agree that we all need to be more body positive, but we also need to be more body conscious. Women and men of all sizes are beautiful. I believe we all should strive to be healthy, and the only proper judge of our health is our doctor.
While I do not believe I look bad or ugly or any of those other synonyms while weighing more, there’s one word I’m not...comfortable. Happy? Check. Mostly stress free? Check. Comfortable? No. It’s the main take away I get from all the body positive accounts. Be comfortable in your own skin. Right now, I’m not.
There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m happy with who I am. I’m happy in my relationship. I’m comfortable in my relationship. And I’m sure that my relationship and the stressful circumstances that have happened in the last few months have contributed to my weight gain. Am I upset with myself for the gain? NO! I know a chunk of it comes from finding someone who loves me and makes me happy. (Yes, I love them too. Should go without saying.) Never will I be upset, again, about becoming “fappy”. (Please note in this context “fappy” = fat + happy, not the British slang word).
What I’m tired of is the cycle. I have yet to fully gain control of the cycle and keep it steady for more than 6 months or so. There’s a word. It’s a word I love and I think it’s the word that is causing me the most trouble. The S word. That’s right, Sugar. If you know me at all, and many of you do, one of the first things you learn about me is how big my sweet tooth is. Very few things escape my sweet tooth. With all the studies of what sugar is doing to our bodies, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s causing me some problems.
Sodas aren’t my problem. I love root beer, but I can live without it. I have even gone through periods, well a period, where I pretty much cut out sugar, dairy and gluten and man could I tell the difference. Now I’m wondering if sugar was the culprit and not the others. I honestly think my body could use a sugar detox. I don’t want the cravings. I love Easter candy and I can’t promise I’ll never eat my favorites again but I want to not go so crazy.
I’ve read about the Ketogenic lifestyle for several years. Several friends have tried it and love it and thrive on it. My body chemistry, according to one DNA test, doesn’t burn fat as quickly as others. Does this concern me a little? Sort of. Perhaps my body just hasn’t been taught how to burn it the right way. I do believe that my body needs a reset.
Again, this is me talking about me. I make no judgements on others even if I find things hard to understand. I may talk about my boyfriend quite a lot. I may talk about how he feels about his journey, but I assure you I’ve made sure he’s happy with what is being shared.
So, why Keto you ask? Well, part of it is the recommendations I hear from friends and associates who have been following the lifestyle. Another part is that I feel that I need a true lifestyle and the constant calorie counting isn’t working. It’s exhausting. The 24 day challenges I do are great and they work, however, I want something more consistent. I’m not going into this believing it’s a cure all, but I am hopeful it is what I will need.
This post is being written over a series of days as I approach the start of this change. Today I had to go buy jeans in a bigger size. I am back to being a size 12. My size 10 is no longer comfortable. I can see the weight I’ve gained. I don’t want to be 185lbs. I believe I have realistic expectations. I want to lose what I need to be comfortable. I, mostly, enjoy my curves and I am not trying to make them go away. I don’t think anyone should judge another for what makes them comfortable. I only tell you my weight and sizes to give you an idea of me. Those numbers don’t define me and I don’t believe they should define anyone else. Nor should my definition of comfort define anyone else’s.
All of us have to battle so many expectations. We shouldn’t take the views of another or their comfort level and put them on ourselves. Yes, yes, easier said than done I know. We have all had damage done to ourselves in one form or another. We all handle mending the damage in different ways.
Well, another several days have passed and I am sitting at home in bed after coming home from work early due to what is most likely a food allergy attack. I rubbed my eye and the next thing I know it was itchy and had inflamed. I’ll save you the photo on that one. I did take an allergy pill, however, most of those pills make me drowsy or out of it even if they say it won’t do that. I’m exhausted and frustrated and now even more excited than ever to get started.
If I mention a podcast or a book or anything, in no way have I been paid to promote it. I do not have any deals or affiliations with anything I mention. If that changes, I will state something. The podcast 2 Keto Dudes was highly recommended to me by a woman that I volunteer for GreySave with. She has switched to the ketogenic lifestyle and looks amazing. She recommended several podcasts and I was thrilled because I love getting more information. I’ve done one episode of the 2 Keto Dudes so far and I’m a big fan. I can’t wait to listen to more of them.
Well, we have now reached day 1. The post is going up the morning of Day 1. I will do my best to to write about my experience daily with the journey into ketosis and beyond. Yes, weight loss is part of what I want to achieve, but mostly I want to rid myself of the dependance of sugar and carbs in my diet that I so heavily crave. FYI, at this point I am on episode 16 of 2 Keto Dudes. It’s what I listen to in my car, now that I have one. Before, I was listening to it on the bus. I highly recommend this show for anyone who is interested in learning more.
Stay tuned for Day 1….